You begin well in marriage as happy husband and wife until you see some early warning signals that they are not as affectionate toward you as you would have expected.

In fact they are positively cold at times. At the wedding and for a time afterwards they were clearly acting in perfect spouse role play mode. How do you get them into a real and hot relationship with you? You need Marriage-Makeover-Part-6 . Yes, it's the The Intelligent Way to Refresh Your Marriage.

It begins with you telling them you sense they don't have the same regard for you as when you got married. Ask them to share with you their feelings. Some probing about their fears of the sameness and boredom of a long term relationship will bring to light interesting stories.

You might also try, only where appropriate, if they feel the marriage equivalent of the "buyers remorse" suffered by real estate investors after they've signed the contract. That could prove to be a useful tension lifter in the conversation.

It's important you explain to your life partner the reason for your open and frank conversation.

You need to let them know you always want both of you to keep the chats about your hard times between yourselves. Be clear on the poisonous relationships that can develop should either of your confide your marriage woes to an outside stranger who suddenly appears in your life as the only one who understands the real you - and all the woes in your relationship. That's a lie.

That's one of the enemy's oldest anti-marriage missiles and you will not fall victim to it as long as you remain committed to Marriage Makeover Part 6.

You will prove for yourself that it's the The Intelligent Way to Refresh Your Marriage.

Copyright 2006 Kenneth Little